I Am, Who I Am.

This year has been eye-opening, and it's not even through yet. I've done so much, yet its as if I haven't done anything at all. I finally accepted that my life and your life will never be the same, as much as I try or force it. Yes, I know what you may be thinking, "I mean, Duh! of course, we'll never have the same lives." But, for so long, I thought if I tried hard enough or used a little more effort, maybe just maybe, I could live the life I wanted, whether it resembled someone else's life or if it was someone else's.

But, changing my life and your life isn't just going to the life store, trying one out, taking it home, and now it's yours to keep (I mean if it were that easy, wouldn't everyone start doing trade-ins). Changing your life takes effort, it takes gut, and of course, takes time. You must know where you are now and visualize where you want to be. If we're unsure of where we are now, how can we ever know where we want to go?

Think of it like this, if someone blindfolded you, took you to a new city and said to find your way home, the first thing you will do, is figure out where you are at that moment, right? And, it's the same as this, learning where you are now. For so long, I have been so focused on who I imagined I'm going to be, but not focused on what the reality is. But, If we don't know who we are now, how can we want to change into something else? What if the person we desire to be, is someone we don't want to be? But, because our focus is always on who we're going to be (in a futuristic aspect), we are now in a place we don't know what we like, dislike, want, or need. Anything that comes our way, we take in. Settling, because we're so eager and thirsty to be something new.

This isn't to say that I don't want change or growth or that I don't look forward to becoming and blossoming into the woman I want to be. It's just to remind myself and you, that knowing who you are now, is just as important. We should never let go of that and never ignore that.

"You don't need a permission slip to be yourself." -Matt Haig